Wall Mikasa
by The Ultimate Person
Summary: For years, Eren always saw Mikasa as a pain in the ass - And it took Eren years to realize just how badly he needed her. (A look at the Jaeger household growing up)


She watched over him. Without shame or any sense of privacy, she watched over him, like some staunch protector fulfilling her purpose in life. She always wore a stern expression, with her armor being nothing more than a straight back and dark narrowing eyes. She would stand vigil, stubborn and unmoving to even that of God's will. Whatever force or being that meant to do him harm, Mikasa Ackerman was sure to stand as tall as Wall Maria itself, stopping whatever it was within it's tracks and showing it no mercy. She was his own personal guardian angel, with no limit towards what she was willing to do for him.

And it was annoying as hell.

"Go away Mikasa, I got this!" Of course, the boy realized that his bruised and slightly bloodied state wasn't exactly helping his argument. Nevertheless, it was already too late, as he felt the older boy's fist unclench from his shirt collar, letting his body fall to the ground in a pathetic heap. In the blink of an eye, his group of harassers had already fled the scene, in terror of the scarf adorned menace.

The monster they had been so scared of however, was nothing but a little girl, with over-sized hand-me-downs, who still had to go on her tip toes to reach upper cabinets. When he looked up, she was already hovering above him, her hand laid out before him as she stared back at him with stoic eyes. "Let's go, Eren."

His hand had subconsciously moved towards her's before he caught himself. Nevertheless, his pride got the better of him and he yanked his hand back, his eyes darting back towards the ground. He picked himself back up, along with what remained of his dignity, ignoring her gaze all the while. "Y'know, I don't need you to save me all the time."

He began to walk off, pretending that nothing happened, still avoiding eye contact. Eren quickly learned that attempting to stare her down resulted in bad news. And by bad news, he meant broken limbs. Despite his apathetic attitude, he could still hear her foot steps echo behind his, following with a sense of loyalty.

* * *

He wasn't that bad at tag, was he?

If that weren't the case, he wouldn't have left such a worryingly large gash in his left calf. No matter how many times Armin apologized, he still told the blonde that it wasn't his fault. He still wouldn't stop, with the same apology going on and on like a broken record, if not a genuinely caring and guilt ridden one. It wasn't his fault that Eren wasn't looking and happened to trip off a ledge all the while. Of course, Mikasa had reassured the boy that she would tend to Eren's wound, easing Armin's conscience. Eren's however, had an opposite effect.

"Shouldn't my dad be doing this right now?" he said, trying his hardest not to cringe as he felt the first layer of bandage touch his wound. Mikasa's eyes were focused on his leg, as she started to wrap the bandage around his calf.

"He said that I would need the practice, considering how often this sort of thing happens."

He liked to think that he had a retort, but all that left his mouth was a hot gust of air. He'd be lying if he said that this sort of thing didn't happen on a daily basis, whether it be from rocks, balconies, or other small children. He simply laid back into sofa, as he begrudgingly let himself be patched up. He peered over, watching the fellow ten year old do her work.

For her age, it was odd how she had a certain gentleness and preciseness to her hand movements. She said it was because of all the craftwork she use to do with her old family, which gave a deftness to her touch. But it was more than that. It was the way she held his leg in place, not holding too tight to irritate the wound. The way she'd meticulously wrap the bandage around, making sure it was secure, but trying her best not to apply too much pressure. She treated him the same way someone would treat their favorite doll; as something that was fragile. No, not fragile; something close to heart. Something that required love and care above all else.

He shook his head, turning it off to the side. "I guess I should say thank you for taking the time to fix me up."

She stood up, admiring her handiwork. "It was no problem." She tilted her head back towards him. Her face contorted in a slight grimace, which was an expression he didn't often see get wear. She raised her hand, making a light knocking gesture against his forehead as she shook her head. "Somethings just can't be fixed though."

When she walked off, Eren simply sat there for a second, thinking about what she just said. It took a few seconds until he finally understood. He jumped off the sofa, his fist clenched. "Hey! What are you talking about!? Get back here, I-!" As expected for his level of coordination, the boy fell onto his face the second he tried to get up, emitting a loud thump sound throughout the house, as well as an agonized yelp. In the distance, he could hear his father laughing uncontrollably.

* * *

It was cold that night. More so than usual. The air had a bite to it that nipped at the edges of your ears and could send chilled daggers down your spine. The cold air bared down like a heavy blanket, near painful and suffocating. The Jaeger household was no exception to it's effects, with frost creeping along the edges of the floorboards and the harsh breeze fighting to blow through the cracks of the doorway.

Eren saw the small fire place as the stubborn heart of the house, weakly pulsing energy and warmth throughout the structure. While he was grateful for the small amount of heat they were able to cumulate, the log pile was dwindling, the tinder was running out, and the night paid no mercy as it went on, the temperature plummeting further and further down. It was getting to him already, his body unable to sit still while constantly shivering. The very oxygen that coursed through his lungs felt icy and uncomfortable. It was digging into him, deep enough to cut into his bones and freeze him towards his very core. The fire helped, but was obviously not enough to last the night.

Out of nowhere, he felt a warm cloth surround his neck, as it was hastily thrown around him. A bit of it went over his face, before it pathetically slumped back down. He looked to his side see to Mikasa, with half of her scarf still wrapped around her neck, making sure the other half was wrapped snuggly around his own. She held the same flat expression she normally held, but he could obviously see the entirety of her body quivering through the cold. She sat next to him, knees to her chest, with her face burrowed into the red cloth. He attempted to speak, though it came out disjointed manner. "You'd be m-much warmer with the full scarf. I-I don't need this."

She had no response, her eyes still trained on the fire. She simply scooted closer to him, until their arms touched. He felt a shaky hand slip underneath his own, grasping it tightly. He turned his gaze back towards the fire, watching the wood crackle from the fire. While he could still feel the cold attempting to creep under his skin, he was glad to have some extra comfort throughout the night. He burrowed his face into the scarf, as he squeezed her hand tight.

* * *

To Eren, it didn't really matter that Mikasa was a girl. Boy or girl, they were first and foremost, children. And rough-housing was an essential part of Eren's childhood. So sometimes, he just got the urge to wrestle with something, even at times when it didn't even make sense.

These were one of those times.

Out of nowhere, Eren tackled Mikasa without warning. They both fell to the ground, slightly tumbling off the edge of a hill. He realized that his parents would most likely reprimand him for getting both his and Mikasa's clothes all dirtied, but no one could blame him for wanting a bit more umpf to their family picnic.

Once the both of them had stopped rolling, he tightened his grip around his adopted sister's waist, trying to pin her on her back. He was sure that by simply dropping his body weight and holding a strong position was enough to win the match. (Not considering the fact that it more of an ambush than an actual fair match) He could already here the applause in the back of his head, for taking down "The Scarfed Menace".

By the time his snapped out of his fantasy however, he felt her wriggle out of his grip as she crossed over her legs. Using some sort of leverage, she rolled out of his grip, leaving him with empty space before him. Just as he was trying to figure out what was going on, he could feel a hand around both his neck and his propped up arm. In just a second, the hand around his arm pulled him downwards, collapsing his entire front body to the ground, as he felt her other arm tighten around his neck. By then, it was all over, leaving him completely collapsed and trapped in a head lock.

The only thoughts running through Eren's head by then were a complete blur, as he was unable to articulate any sort of real response. When she got back up, he was hoping she would leave and give him proper enough time to wallow in his shame. Instead, he felt her pull him back up to his feet.

"Are you crying?"

Eren drew his arm around his face. "No!"

"I could go get your mom."

"Shut up!"

Mikasa's expression stayed completely still as she brushed the bits of dirt from her sleeves. "I can show you how I did that, if you want."

Eren took a moment to seize her up, wondering if this was just some ploy to rub in the victory. The more he thought about, however, the more he thought otherwise. Mikasa was brutal, but she was in no way vindictive. And for some reason, she was always there to help him and his dumb butt. He eventually nodded, unable to bring himself to refuse the help.

It was a cumbersome process, but he understood. She showed him the areas of his body where he should distribute his weight. She showed him the way to use your legs as leverage and how to create distance between you and your opponent. She showed him the proper placement of your hands to where need to grab your opponent from. Eventually, he got the hang of it, successfully pinning down Mikasa with the same maneuver.

He jumped back up to his feet, unable to hide the big smile on his face. "I did it! I really did it! I can't believe I just did that! Hey Mikasa, what did you think?"

For second there, Eren could've sworn he saw a smile. Of course, that was before he felt Mikasa's body tackle him down, crashing them both towards the ground, with all the grass stains, tangled fabric and yelling in between. Now the fun really began.

* * *

He didn't like thunderstorms.

Loud and obnoxious things, as if nature itself were throwing a temper tantrum. Inconsiderate too, seeing as he hadn't been able to sleep for the several minutes it had been raging about. The loud emitting boom, the occasional rumble of the ground, and the pattering rainfall constantly assaulted the evening, with no real break in between. Eren simply laid in his bed, wide eyed and groggy, growing all the more frustrated as sleep refused to come.

In the corner of his eye, he spotted a candle light. Emerging from the shadows, Mikasa walked up to his bedside with a candle holder in hand. He squinted his eyes, trying to figure out her sudden appearance. She laid it on top of the bedside table, before grabbing the edge of his blanket. Before he could speak out, she was already getting underneath the blanket, laying down beside him.

"Hey! W-What are you doing? Shouldn't you be in your own bed?"

The girl simply pulled the blanket over, curling herself slightly into a ball. She avoid his eyes, her hands clenched against the edge of the blanket. She was visibly shaking, and it seemed as if her teeth were tightly grinding against each other. "I'm doing this for your own good"

Eren tilted his head, confused by his friend's strange behavior. "Mikasa ... Are you ... Are you actually scared?"

She turned her head away, clenching the blanket tighter. "No."

"But you're shivering."

She burrowed her face into the blanket, tinges of red slightly showing on her face."No, I'm not." For a second, she attempted to lay as still possible, but he could obviously tell her breathing was still heavy.

He rolled his eyes. The girl was horrendous at lying. He scooted toward the edge of the bed, attempting to push her off. "C'mon Mikasa, get back to your-"

Before he knew it, her arm was secured to his side. "I'm protecting you."

He blinked. "What?"

"I'm protecting you from the storm. Now stay still," she said, snuggling closer to him as she secured her arm around his chest, keeping him "safe". He's heard better excuses from her, but he decided to drop it. He stopped trying to move and just decided to lay there, not denying that the extra body heat was comforting. He looked back down at Mikasa, eyes shut, trying to drown the storm from her head. God forbid the day she admitted she was scared of something. Still, he put a comforting hand on her arm, feeling her entire body let a bit more loose. He closed his eyes, letting the girl burrow her head against his shoulder.

He fell asleep immediately.

* * *

There was a fire in his chest that he never knew existed before.

It wasn't something he could just shake off. It was something that had to burn, that had to run it's course before he could move on with anything else. He just didn't expect it to be this intense, this searing and uncontrollable. Where an emptiness had grown in his heart, a blaze took it's place and gave him substance to go on. Some would say it was unhealthy, especially for his age. But he honestly didn't care.

"Her body just ... Snapped. Right in two. And then she was gone ... Just like that. Now I'll never see her again."

Armin was smart. He knew that his friend needed space after the traumatizing event that had just occurred. It wasn't something he could comprehend or fix, so of course, he kept his distance. Mikasa on the other hand, wouldn't leave him alone. While she made sure not to talk about it or really pester him, she still stood by his side, refusing to leave. Of course, there were practical reasons to that. They were refugees, without any adult authorities to really look after them. They needed to stick together throughout times like these. That doesn't mean it didn't get to Eren's head, however.

She made sure he got at least one item out of the food line, even when there was nothing left for her. She made sure he was warm, staying close to him and wrapping him in whatever fabric she had. She stood at his guard, eyeing whoever suspiciously lingered around, possibly planning on stealing from them or taking advantage of the two. She gave him time to stick around in his head, while she took care of all their external needs. He should've been grateful. He should've been.

Mikasa had already encountered this type of grief in her lifetime, so she knew how to handle it the second time it rolled around. For him however, he was taken completely back by this sudden sadness, this deep excruciating pain that he could feel in his chest. He didn't know how to handle it or even funnel it out right. So he screamed. He screamed and cursed every single individual Titan. His vision itself was bloodshot, red and heated. He took every single emotion he felt and turned it into anger, pure and simple, since it was the easiest one for him to express. And when she tried to help him, tried to ease him with her empathy, he could only feel himself boil. He'd yell at her, he'd push her back, telling her to leave him alone, that it wasn't her mother that she just watched get eaten alive. He would twist, he would shout, he would burn out every spark left his body, exhausting himself until he simply was numb from the fire.

That night, when the heat had left his chest, leaving a cold sensation to wallow in, he let tears rush down from face. They forced their way from his eyes, having been repressed and strained for weeks now. When they finally came out, they wouldn't stop, as he sobbed and choked, unable to control his breath, unable to control the pathetic mewling coming from mouth. He was broken, nothing but ash crumbling off from the embers. And in that moment, he could feel her arms wrap around him, tight and secure. She held him together, as his tears stained the fabric of her scarf and his arms reached around her back, pulling her close against him.

In place of that hollowness that stuck inside his chest, she filled it with warmth.

* * *

"This wall is going to crumble one day," the young trainee spoke, his legs dangling off the side of the wall. He watched as his feet hazily moved with the breeze, propped upon 45 meters of stone. "It'll crumble and fall into a giant heap. Then, it'll get cleaned up, with no remains."

Mikasa slightly raised her eyebrow, as she watched her own feet sway about. "That's awfully cynical of you."

Eren laughed, shaking his head. He leaned back, his gaze fixed more towards the sky. "I don't mean it in a bad way. I'm saying that one day, we won't need them anymore," one of his hands patted down on the wall, as if to tell Maria herself that he meant no offense. "One day, we can look out and just see miles and miles of clear land. We'll be free."

Mikasa shrugged. "We could still use walls."

"Well, by the time all the titans are gone, we won't need protection any more. We can finally go out there and really live, yknow. Like how things use to be a long time ago."

Mikasa looked up, gaze pointed towards the horizon. Her expression seemed completely blank, but Eren knew better than that. He saw the slight tightness held in her bottom lip, the way her fingers strained against the wall, knuckles visible. There were words she wanted to say, things she wanted to get out, but she couldn't. She was so good at so many things, but expression wasn't one of them. Eren turned towards the girl, eyes stern. "Humanity has outgrown these walls. The walls have been so big and comforting for so many years, but ultimately, we're the ones that are going to tear them down, not the titans. That's sort of thing you gotta keep in mind when you go into the survey corps."

Mikasa stayed still, any movement coming from her was only apparent in her slow and steady breath. Eren's eyes drew downward. "I've outgrown these walls, Mikasa."

She suddenly turned towards him, a small amount of hastiness in her tone. "They're sturdy. Stable. They won't go down without a fight. That means something."

"Yeah, well, it won't always. There's just so much out there," he said, hand outstretched towards the horizon. Despite his enthusiasm, Eren saw no change in Mikasa's expression. Eren slumped his arm back down, as he pursed his lips. He leaned towards her, taking on a gentler tone. "But that doesn't mean I'll forget it."

Her eyes glanced back at him, eyes glossier than usual, only to quickly turn back to the horizon. His eyes drew down as his face formed a grimace. "I mean yeah, it hasn't always been fun. I've been hit, kicked, thrown down a hill, and chilled half to death," he said, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. "But I was taken cared of. I was warm, I was laughing."

At this point, Eren wasn't even sure if she was breathing. She was so still, so focused, struggling against letting her expression crack. Eren softened his expression, as he let out a sigh. He leaned closer to Mikasa, letting his hand gently come over to her own. He saw the way her eyes widened, the way her breath just barely escaped her lips. Her gaze stayed focus on him. He gave her a small smile. "I was happy, Mikasa."

Her expression seemed almost lost for a second, as she processed everything, from his words, to his tone, to his face. In that one second, Eren was scared; maybe she didn't understand what he was trying to say. But then he saw how her eyes softened, how the corners of her mouth relaxed. She closed her eyes, as he took in a steady breath. As she let go, she opened her eyes, the corners her lips turning up. He felt her hand move against his own, entangling his fingers with hers.  
"I was happy too."

Eren was beaming. He tightened his grasp around her hand and pointed his other one towards the horizon. "Well, maybe then there is hope for us yet. That sunset over there is ripe for the taking, y'know. For the both of us." He raised eyebrows, unable to hide his excitement. "I'll even race you to it."

Mikasa let herself laugh - the first one she let out in a long time. She shook her head before she let it rest against Eren's shoulder, comfortable and content. "But you're a terrible runner."

Eren let his smile rest comfortably against his face, as he rested his head against Mikasa's. "Well, you're a pain in the ass, Mikasa Ackerman," he said, chuckling a bit after. He squeezed his hand tightly against her own. The callouses on their fingers had never felt softer. "And I don't know what I'd do without you."


End file.
